motherhood is a beautiful blessing.
you can fill a childhood with memories, teach the sacred traditions you grew up with, and build new ones. you can create magical moments with surprise lunch dates at school and surprise movie nights with pallets in the family room.
you can create treasured bonding moments with her pulling up a chair so she can help you mix the special cake you are making and blowing a kiss on top of your secret chicken recipe.
you can raise a strong and loving girl, who becomes a strong and loving woman...or you can carry your baggage over to your daughter, and make her hate herself.
* when you are getting dressed in the morning and she's in the room with you, sigh in disgust, huff and say how you hate your hips--the same hips she will grow into one day. grab the softness that embraces them and become angry with yourself as you ask in short temper "why can't i get rid of this". 15 years later, she will see those same hips on her and go to your thoughts, and believe that her hips make her less desirable, less beautiful, less...
* as you apply your makeup in the morning with her perched on the counter beside you, shake your head and shame the expression and smile lines that have formed around your lips and eyes. 50 years later, as those precious lines find their way to her face, she'll remember youth is beauty and age is shame.
* whenever you make a small mistake, be sure to show your disappointment in yourself, and audibly say, "i wish i didn't do dumb things". as she grows and learns, she'll hold herself to an impossible standard, and belittle herself each time she made small mistakes too.
* when you're at the swimming pool or beach, hide under the umbrella in the largest cover up you can find, and when thinner and more fit women walk by, shake your head and speak of their beauty and proclaim how much you'd give to look like them. she'll learn from that moment to always compare herself to the women around her.
* when you burn your special chicken or your turkey dinner become dry, heavily drop the pan on the counter and compare yourself to your own mother, your husband's mother, your neighbor, and say defeated "i burned dinner, again." she'll learn to be on alert for someone to always compare herself to, in regards to anything.
ladies, we have to stop.
we must love ourselves so our daughters can love themselves, and their daughters love themselves.
let us consider who we are: the hips we have, the precious wrinkles that embrace our face, and the "learning experience" dinners to be a part of our journey--signs that we have lived a life worthy of stories and memories, love and commitment.
instead of teaching our daughters to hate themselves because we have no grace for ourselves, let us teach our daughters they are perfect and beautiful and there is a life of incredible treasures that lies ahead of them instead of a life of gloom, disappoint, and impossible standards. let's plant seeds in their hearts that will grow into rose bushes and cypress trees, instead of thorns and briers, but first, we must dig up those seeds from our own hearts.
you can fill a childhood with memories, teach the sacred traditions you grew up with, and build new ones. you can create magical moments with surprise lunch dates at school and surprise movie nights with pallets in the family room.
you can create treasured bonding moments with her pulling up a chair so she can help you mix the special cake you are making and blowing a kiss on top of your secret chicken recipe.
you can raise a strong and loving girl, who becomes a strong and loving woman...or you can carry your baggage over to your daughter, and make her hate herself.
* when you are getting dressed in the morning and she's in the room with you, sigh in disgust, huff and say how you hate your hips--the same hips she will grow into one day. grab the softness that embraces them and become angry with yourself as you ask in short temper "why can't i get rid of this". 15 years later, she will see those same hips on her and go to your thoughts, and believe that her hips make her less desirable, less beautiful, less...
* as you apply your makeup in the morning with her perched on the counter beside you, shake your head and shame the expression and smile lines that have formed around your lips and eyes. 50 years later, as those precious lines find their way to her face, she'll remember youth is beauty and age is shame.
* whenever you make a small mistake, be sure to show your disappointment in yourself, and audibly say, "i wish i didn't do dumb things". as she grows and learns, she'll hold herself to an impossible standard, and belittle herself each time she made small mistakes too.
* when you're at the swimming pool or beach, hide under the umbrella in the largest cover up you can find, and when thinner and more fit women walk by, shake your head and speak of their beauty and proclaim how much you'd give to look like them. she'll learn from that moment to always compare herself to the women around her.
* when you burn your special chicken or your turkey dinner become dry, heavily drop the pan on the counter and compare yourself to your own mother, your husband's mother, your neighbor, and say defeated "i burned dinner, again." she'll learn to be on alert for someone to always compare herself to, in regards to anything.
ladies, we have to stop.
we must love ourselves so our daughters can love themselves, and their daughters love themselves.
let us consider who we are: the hips we have, the precious wrinkles that embrace our face, and the "learning experience" dinners to be a part of our journey--signs that we have lived a life worthy of stories and memories, love and commitment.
instead of teaching our daughters to hate themselves because we have no grace for ourselves, let us teach our daughters they are perfect and beautiful and there is a life of incredible treasures that lies ahead of them instead of a life of gloom, disappoint, and impossible standards. let's plant seeds in their hearts that will grow into rose bushes and cypress trees, instead of thorns and briers, but first, we must dig up those seeds from our own hearts.
