us

us
nothing makes a girl fall in love like rescue from being tied up on a set of train tracks

Sunday, February 17, 2013

what does a perfect wife give up for lent?

...yeah, i don't know...being perfect?

anyhow, my lenten season decision has come a few days late, and it quiet honestly only came because i was sitting in church this morning with the husband, and our pastor was talking about fasting, and i remembered i hadn't decided on a fast yet...and then our amazing worship began. worship so amazing i imagine the seraphims from isaiah 6:2 were flying over our sanctuary during the midst of.  the sweetness of worship, the sweetness of being in the presence of God is this: it encourages you with a loving conviction that there is something better for you, that His plans for you are far greater than what is plaguing you with stress and concern at that moment.

all to often i find myself checking my identity in accordance with the world's eyes, the world's standards. i find myself concerned with what my coworkers think, my boss thinks, those that pass me in various other community places think. i stand in front of the mirror and critique myself, i critique my day, and dwell on how i could have been "more perfect". yet, somehow, i don't spend the same time, energy, effort, focus, on how He sees me. He's ordained my days, He knows my ending from my beginning (psalm 139).  i've become distracted. my time is too divided amongst unnecessary fills. He is the greatest love that i know, He is the only place of  unrelenting love, quiet solace, and never-ending mercy, and yet He gets the least amount of my time. t.v. gets my time, and only gives me disturbing, sad images in return, movies get my time, and only give me lost hours for it. when He gets my time, He gives me peace, restoration, and joy in return. i want to give Him more of my time, i want more of His peace, restoration, and joy. i want to clammer for His thoughts of me the same way i do for others'.

there are many decisions in my life i am not proud of. there are many paths i have gone down that had warning signs all over them, and yet i chose, and left a trail of destruction in my path. (coincidently enough, i just reached over to turn on my bedside lamp and spilled an entire cup of cocoa onto our carpet, and bed spread, and sheets....). honestly i still let these remain part of my identity, and therefore, when i look in the mirror, i see the destruction i've left behind as a result of these decisions, and the person that caused it, instead of the person pulled from the floods. i still see myself, struggling, resisting against the drowning process. and then i remember that He has pulled me from the flood waters. i remember i have a new identity in Him. i remember that He says to me "you are altogether beautiful my darling, there is no spot in thee" (song of solomon 4:7).

so in addition to t.v., i'm giving up my desire to be perfect.


Sunday, February 10, 2013

less like hoarders, more like home; less like paula deen, more like "i tried"

so, the last week has been somewhere between a comedy of errors, and making our house our home.

we thought hosting a super bowl party would be our first norman rockwell "party" experience....bytheway, did you know norman rockwell did a tattoo artist painting:


moving on...i had visions of perfectly cooked chicken wings, crock pot bbq meatballs and sausages, an array of dips, and other delightful noshes being served.  i had my apron on, a perfectly prepared playlist going in the background as i began my preparations in the morning to ensure that everything would be cooked to perfection and timed wonderfully for our friend's arrival. as i broke out my crock pot and retrieved my meatballs from the freezer, i realized i had accidentally grabbed a bag of sausage balls :(
i figured this might be a glorious mistake...leading to the discovery of a favorite party-time snack-a-roo. judging by the 2 full containers of left overs, this was not the case :/ --lesson learned, be more observant when grocery shopping.  then there was the time i was retrieving the pan of marinated and sauced wings from the oven.  i had covered them in foil to ensure they would be extra tender, this dish had gone perfectly so far...until i was pulling it out of the oven and half the juice/sauce in the baking pan spilled into the oven and on the oven door :/ ...we're still working on scrubbing off those remnants. 

on the Jesus front, we talk to Him daily and look forward to planting ourselves into a great church we found. my thirst for Jesus-community to walk through in our new lives with is great. as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another --proverbs 27:17
i honestly don't know how other couples can possibly do it without eyes focused on Him, and without staying in the Word. 

oh! also! there has been tremendous progress made in the area of: "it looks like someone broke into our house and all they did was through my clothes and belongings everywhere!" i can proudly say: all laundry is put up, our closet is perfectly organized now, the bathroom is organized and clean-with sink space visible, and those guest room sheets are finally washed. the thank you notes for our wedding gifts are another story, it's quiet embarrassing actually, that i haven't sent them written them yet. 

:sigh: suppose i'll start on those now. 

Saturday, February 2, 2013

we're hitched!

 

Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man seperate. --Mark 10:9







the day came and was gone, like a flash. it really is a surreal experience, and i am so thankful i had an amazing photographer, because the whole day is a blur. in a good way :)

i have indeed checked my fussy pants onto January 18th, guess it was the stress of it all. so thankful for the husband who was so gentle, kind, supportive, and understanding through it all.

i don't really have the same patience he does, which is surprising, because i work with small children for a living. it's easier for me to have patience with little ones than big people, i found this out in our joint traveling venture (honeymoon). there were moments snippiness arose in me, luckily he's forgiving and patient (as aforementioned).

i've always had this grand idea that i'd be the wife that cooks amazing food, keeps a lovely house, and is always june cleaver put together...in our first week home, living together, i've cooked one meal: fish and rice (and we had that for leftovers another day), and i'm still not completely settled in and unpacked--i could be using this snowy saturday to do that, but i figured updating facebook with wedding pictures and updating my imperfect wife blog is more important. i'm sure he disagrees, but he'll be patient with me in the process of our home looking slightly like the beginning of someone from hoarders. :shudder: --actually NO! that thought is about to send me running downstairs.

we're also hosting friends over to eat food and watch neat commercials (otherwise known as a superbowl party) on sunday, and i've yet to find recipes for amazing wings and dips...i'll probably look them up sunday morning...hope nothing has to marinate overnight....
this whole wifey thing doesn't seem to come natural for me. there's nothing like marriage and living with someone to make you realize what a selfish nature you really do have. 

our plans to do a bible study together are slow to be realized. we have our own personal quiet times, but we've yet to be able to sit down together and do this quiet time together. we both know the importance of it, and agree it is the foundation of our lives together, yet, haven't made time. i don't really feel like i'm living out that whole wife lifting up her husband thing. i do send him encouragement text msgs via texts, and have identified several great books we can read together...and i really hope i can pull it together enough for it to happen soon. life gets in the way, schedules are busy, people are sick, working a lot and tired. none of those are excuses.  perhaps looking at our time as money/income, if we tithe 10% of our income, our time should be no different. i know this, but still fail at it--in our first week of marriage.

maybe list making is the solution? the solution to prevent our home from looking like it's on it's way to hoarders, to minimize my belongings (as two lives are one now, those lives need to be smaller!), and prioritizing for time's sake. our desire is to be buried deeply in the Word, identities in Christ, eyes focused on Him, marriage grounded on Him.

thankful for the husband who is gentle, patient, and understanding, and a God who is the same and never waivering.