...and not ashamed

i have a fairly large tattoo on my left arm....see:

bytheway, this is the back of me, many people are confused and perplexed....

most of the time, i LOVE my tattoo. i love the verse/story it was inspired by (luke 24:32)...after Christ's death and resurrection, two of the disciples were on the road to emmaus, when a man came to them. they did not recognize him as he asked them what they were talking about (reports that Christ's body was not in the tomb and He had risen). they began to tell this man about Christ, and all the events that led to his crucifixion and ressurection. when they arrived to their destination, they went to the upper room to have a meal, and the man went up with them. he offered to bless the food, and broke the bread. as soon as he broke the bread, it says their eyes were opened and they recognized Him and He disappeared from their sight. they turned to each other and said, "did our hearts not burn within us he talked with us on the road and opened the scripture to us?!"
it's my reminder to feel, "is my heart burning within me?"

i'm getting married in one week...one! to the most wonderful (soon to be) husband there is. i'm biased, sorry :)
(soon to be) husband is incredible. he's loving, gentle, kind, patient, encouraging, and so supportive of me, and all my variety of pants (cranky, fussy, stressed, sad).
my dress is beautiful...really, really, really beautiful. i'd describe it, but mr. wonderful sometimes reads this (for an ego boost :) ) and i don't want him to have any clue about my dress---shhhhhh!

every girl wants to be the most beautiful bride she can be. each may have their own idea of what the most beautiful is, and that is even more beautiful.  some of us want to be thin, some toned, some curvy. some of us want trumpet gowns, some mermaid, some ball gowns, some layered, etc. some of us want vintage, some elegant, some formal, some bohemian, etc. some find the most beauty in quirky, some find it in natural, and so on. there is no one way to be the most beautiful bride.  at some point today, when i was joyfully thinking "i'll be marrying this amazing guy in one week!" i felt this crushing weight, this ugly thought, "i could be more beautiful for him if i didn't have this huge tattoo on my arm....i won't be able to look perfect for him". i felt pangs of sadness sweeping through me. the thoughts crept in--his breath is not going to be taken away. i felt the pangs of sadness, sadness that he would see me, and his eyes first grow toward my tattoo, and not me, as his whole bride, being brought to him.  through this temporary sadness, i did what anyone would do, i posted about it on facebook. dear friends immediately responded rebuking this. and then he did too. after his cousin commented that as long as it isn't across my forehead, i'm good, he replied, "Across the forehead would be cool! I love my girl just the way she is!!" 

i then remember the story of adam and eve in genesis, when it is said they were naked and not ashamed. before sin and the fall of man, they were naked and not ashamed.  i thought about this, and i thought  about where the shame comes from, relating to this. and, it's this: my identity. where am i finding my identity? i slip sometimes and look for it places it cannot be found. as a (soon to be) imperfect wife, i can measure myself against a lot of women, a lot of ideals, a lot of articles, pictures, movies, shows, etc. and that opens me to shame, sadness, failure complexes. or, i can measure myself to scripture, to His best for me. and He says: 

"you are all together beautiful my darling, there is no blemish in you" --song of solomon 4:7

the world tells us we can always be more beautiful. He tells us we are perfectly beautiful.